Abstract: The subject, though less than a year old, had a vocabulary of more than 100 words. He was reported as able to speak complete sentences and answer a few simple questions. He experienced a sudden regression in which he went from speaking normally to repeating a single word, then a single syllable over and over. Within minutes, he stopped producing speech, and began making a clicking sound with his mouth. Less than an hour later, he was unable to do even that.
The subject was referred to a DUDE! (Docs Unapologetically Devoid of Ethics) doctor. The subject was chosen to receive an experimental lithium treatment. As oral and transdermal applications had failed to produce results in similar cases, four lithium devices were inserted surgically into the patients back. “It’s a miracle,” stated the subject’s guardian, “a full recovery from regressive autism in just minutes!” She plans to make a series of YouTube videos promoting the revolutionary biomedical treatment, and sharing the news of the subject's recovery. "Sure, he's still echolalic, he moves a little robotically, but he's clearly no longer autistic."
The subject was asked to comment on the procedure. “Squawk,” he said, “I love me, too!”