You may already be "aware"

Is it an epidemic of alarming proportion or merely the latest disease-of-the-week? Whatever you believe, you have surely noted the recent media attention paid the sudden increase in the disorder called “awareness.” Not to be confused with its un-quotation-marked cousin, awareness, this is an insidious condition threatening to numb the minds and consciences of the multitudes through an endless parade of meaningless rhetoric. Worst of all, you may have this condition and not even know it! While “awareness” manifests in a variety of forms, for purposes of this article, we will focus on autism “awareness,” one of the most prevalent varieties. Here is a brief quiz to determine your “awareness” quotient.

True or False:

1) You have more than one (1) of the following “awareness” promoting items in your possession: ribbon; t-shirt; bumper sticker; button; clock; potholder; corkscrew; coat rack; exercise bicycle; cat litter scoop.

2) You have heard that some autistic people find the awareness ribbon offensive. You don’t understand why, so you continue to display the ribbon.

3) You have been told directly that some autistic people find the awareness ribbon offensive. You understand exactly why, but you can name two or three autistics who disagree, so you continue to display the ribbon.

4) You have been told that some autistic people find the awareness ribbon offensive, and you do understand why, but they are wrong, and you are right, so you continue to display the ribbon.

5) Your own autistic child has expressed unhappiness about the ribbon, but you continue to display the ribbon.

6) You make every effort to sell or otherwise distribute the ribbons at community events, some of which have nothing to do with autism.

7) When asked to explain what “awareness” means to you, you mumble something about tragedy and “needing to find a cure.”

8) Your definition of “autism” has little to nothing in common with the recognized diagnostic criteria.

It is important to remember that “awareness” is a spectrum disorder. To judge your own level of “awareness,” first answer questions listed above. For each item endorsed (true), add points according to this scale: Number 1 = 1 point; 2 = 2 points; 3 = 2 points; 4 = 3 points; 5 = 5 points; 6 = 2 points; 7 = 2 points; 8 = 3 points.

Your score:

1-3: Typically "aware"
4-8: “Awareness” Not Otherwise Specified
9-12: High functioning “awareness”
13 and over: Severely “aware”

Do not despair! There is hope a clue will be found. Please use the new ribbon pictured below to let everyone know that you are now “aware” of the “awareness” epidemic. And don’t forget to do your “research.”

This public service announcement was made possible by ABFH, who pointed out the need for this new "awareness" ribbon, based on information about the (puzzling) ribbon culture found in this post at Autism Vox. Thank you ABFH, and Kristina Chew.